From Sainsbury's: SO Organic Chardonnay 2008 Vin de Pays d'Oc (£4.99; 13% abv) tastes as if it's been made by numbers using a duff calculator. A couple of horrendous sauvignon blancs – Sainsbury's Chilean Sauvignon Blanc 2009 (£3.22; 13% abv) and Sainsbury's Sauvignon Blanc 2008 Vin de Pays d'Oc (£4.39; 12.5% abv): yes, they're cheap, but that's no excuse for undrinkability.
Chartreuse de Bonpas Réserve 2008 (£8.99; 13% abv) is a red blend that's very disappointing for the price. Sainsbury's Argentinian Pinot Noir 2009 (£4.99; 14% abv) is turgid, while Taste The Difference McLaren Vale Shiraz Grenache 2008 (£7.99; 14.5% abv) tastes like an extraterrestrial attempt to recreate Earth wine. I could go on, but it hardly seems fair to dwell so long in one place.So I'll move on to Tesco.
Bad claret reminds me of a cardboard box that's spent the past year in the porch with dirty shoes sat on it – if you want to know what I mean, try Tesco Vintage Claret 2007 (£5.99; 12% abv). Storks Tower Tempranillo Shiraz Rosé 2008 (£6.12; 12.5% abv) is flabby and apathetic. Then there are wines that fail to live up to their price tag. Tesco Finest Hermitage 2005 (£22.47; 13% abv) is OK, but a £22 wine should not be OK.
Ditto La Chaudouillonne Sancerre 2007 (£14.29; 12.5% abv). And The Reach Sauvignon Blanc 2008 (£8.47; 12.5% abv), which is like drinking dementors.Nothing tried at Waitrose is quite as horrifying, though that said, only patriotism would make me part with £10.99 for Bookers Vineyard Pinot Noir 2006 (12% abv). And the very modern Bodegas Chivite Gran Feudo 2005 (£11.95; 13.5% abv) is what I imagine it's like having dinner with Rupert Penry-Jones – a friend who interviewed him said he was lovely, apart from the conversation.There are a few splutterers at Marks & Spencer, too. Old Man Creek Chardonnay 2008 (£4.99; 13% abv) for one. My notes say M&S's new Chilean Red 2009 (£3.99; 12.5% abv) "smells awful" and that the Argentine Balbi Syrah-Viognier 2009 (£6.99; 13.5% abv) "ticks boxes, but is unsatisfying and a bit plasticky".Asda, meanwhile, has some real teeth-gritters. I have space for two: a hideous South African, Nederburg Winemasters Reserve Sauvignon Blanc 2009 (£6.48; 13.5% abv), and M de Murviedro Rosé 2008 (£5.48; 13% abv) which is like boiled sweets and alcohol.
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